The Life of Jennifer Dawn: Isaiah 40:31

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Isaiah 40:31

On Friday I shared why I hadn't been blogging as much lately.  Here's a convo the hubby and I had about it today...

Me: I've felt a lot better today.
Tim: I've noticed.
Me: I think I probably have been dealing with some postpartum symptoms.  They say it gets worse when you're tired, and I've been pretty stressed and tired lately.  I tried to nap when the kids napped and I tried to get lots of rest this weekend.
Tim: I've tried to help out a lot this weekend and let you get plenty of rest.  (And he has!)
Me: I've noticed.  Thanks... (pause) Do you think that I'm more prone to postpartum depression because I've struggled with some depression in the past.   
Tim: I think it's that and the fact that in the last four years you've gotten pregnant, had a baby... (long pause) lost two babies (getting a bit choked up on the words), gotten pregnant again, and had another baby.  Your hormones have been on a roller coaster.
Me: Yeah.  I guess.  I don't think some people realize how debilitating depression can be.
Tim: I've read some about it online.
Me: Lately, I've been disinterested in a lot of things.  I've cried.  I've been tired.  I've hurt everywhere.  Friday night my whole body ached...even the muscles in my face.  (chuckle)  I've had to make silent commands to myself just to be able to do the things that need to be done.  "Now you need to get up."  "Now you have to brush your teeth."  "Now you have to wipe the table off from where L.G. ate dinner."  I've had to order myself to do even the simplest of tasks.  I really do feel a lot better today though...getting so much rest and all.

And I do!  I've prayed about it a lot this weekend too!  Have you ever struggled with postpartum or any kind of depression for that matter?  It seems like so many of my friends who have had babies deal with the aftermath effortlessly.  Me...I tend to hit some bumps in the road as hormone levels settle out again.  It does get worse when I'm tired, and I don't always do the best job of taking care of myself.  As long as the kids are taken care of, my own health sometimes gets sacrificed.  I've always been like that.  Especially during the college years when I had so many things going on at once.  Unfortunately not taking care of myself eventually catches up with me.  

My mom reminded me the other day that Lydia Grace was about 18 months old before I really got past the postpartum symptoms from that pregnancy.  My babies themselves have brought me so much joy though.  Along with lots of rest this weekend, I also made sure to get lots of hugs, kisses, and cuddles.  

Friend, thanks for letting me share my joys and struggles with you.  Sometimes it is hard and a little embarrassing to be so transparent though.  I begin to fret over what impression people will get.  Sometimes I worry too much about what people think.  I find that I am able to be more open about things here than in person though.  I also find myself hoping that somehow the words I say here will offer up encouragement to someone else dealing with the same things.  It's nice to have a release...a place to little corner of the world.  Thanks for listening, friend.  And thanks for visiting with me.

 I hope you have a blessed week! 


  1. I have gone through this every time after having my two kids. And yes it does get worse when you are tired. However I think that I never really got over it and still get so depressed when I am tired and have not accomplished much during the day. My kids are 21 and 16 and the teenage years are difficult too:(

  2. I don't usually comment, but I do love reading your blog. I also have an almost-3-year-old girl and a newborn boy (3 weeks old today!) and I am feeling stretched. With the sleep deprivation some days I've also had to order myself to do simple things like get off the couch to make our lunch. You're not by yourself and I think it's great that you're sharing how you feeling.
    I don't know how you are able to do it all. I'm an elementary school special ed teacher, and after I had my daughter I had a really hard time finding a balance between being a great mom and a great teacher and a great wife. I decided to take a leave of absence to be home with my kids and try to start a home daycare. I just knew that if I had that much trouble finding balance with just one child, how was I going to do it with two children.

    Anyways, just wanted to let you know you are in good company and I hope you start to find yourself and feel better soon. Keep on truckin' :)

  3. I love your transparency and willingness to share. I think that, as a christian, that is a huge part of our testimony, to share our struggles along with our victories. That is what makes us real and relatable. I am so sorry you are struggling, but know that you are not alone! Especially when Sally was younger, I considered it a productive day if everyone got fed and took naps and if I was able to get a shower and take a nap too. It was just survival mode! Don't beat yourself up for not getting to all the other things. I always had to tell myself, "You are doing the best job that anyone in your situation could do right now." I am sure you are doing a great job, and I am sure your children know that their mommy loves them.

  4. you have such a cute blog & i love your etsy shop :) just found you through the wiegand's link following!



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