13 weeks!
Baby is doing good! Yay! The heart rate is 171 which has climbed to a healthy rate from the initial 103. There was a small bleed beside baby on the last ultrasound, but that is a big improvement from there being large hemorrhages and hearing the term "threatened abortion" thrown around just weeks ago...
Baby seems to be developing normally, so they aren't going to worry about the present bleed and they are just going to keep a close eye on things.
Despite the coagulation disorders, Tim and I have just opted for me to take a daily does of aspirin instead of blood thinners which can have too many bad effects for both baby and me. (Aspirin worked for L.G. and Eli.)
Now that I'm in the second trimester, I am beginning to feel less tired and sick. My energy is slowly coming back to me which has felt wonderful.
Those are the facts.
Now, how am I really feeling?
Emotionally...
I love my little baby already, but I have to admit...
Emotionally...
I love my little baby already, but I have to admit...
my heart has still been a bit distant. Please don't think I'm awful. It's just that after you've gone through multiple miscarriages, you tend to be a bit distant and fearful at times. Fearful that at any moment something might go wrong... Fearful of loosing yet another piece of yourself...
I know the bible says that the Lord has not given us a spirit of fear but one of power...
But worry too often seems to be one of my failings..
When I find myself worrying...
I try to focus on the one who has me sheltered in the palm of his hand...
The one who has blessed me beyond belief...
My precious Lord and Savior.
I know the bible says that the Lord has not given us a spirit of fear but one of power...
But worry too often seems to be one of my failings..
When I find myself worrying...
I try to focus on the one who has me sheltered in the palm of his hand...
The one who has blessed me beyond belief...
My precious Lord and Savior.
I know that God will be there no matter what happens. He'll be there in heartbreak and in joy!
Baby and I are just taking it one day at a time...
Isn't that all any of us can do in this life...
What a little fighter baby has already been!
Just like through previous pregnancies, I'm walking this road one step at a time with prayer and gratitude in my heart...
I never would have dreamed that I'd have the precious babies that I do. They are such miracles to me!
And my heart is open to witnessing yet another miracle.
I never would have dreamed that I'd have the precious babies that I do. They are such miracles to me!
And my heart is open to witnessing yet another miracle.
Oh Sweetie,
ReplyDeleteI am praying for you and for your unborn baby as well. I wasn't able to have children and went through miscarriage as well as an ectopic pregnancy so I understand your fears. God does too, don't feel guilty, you are human after all. Please know you are being lifted up in prayer and that plenty of us understand what you are going through. If you ever need an ear or a shoulder to lean on, I am here. I look forward to continuing to hear good news about your pregnancy.
Thank you for sharing, I was curious as to what your progress was.
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel about fear after a miscarriage (or multiple in your case). A friend of mine just announced a pregnancy and she's very early on so I have been battling with the fear of what can happen in those early weeks.
I'm praying for you regularly and I can't wait to see and hear more about your adorable growing belly!
I am so excited for you and praying for you!
ReplyDeletePraying that everything is just perfect for you and baby! Love your positive attitude- keep it up! I love reading your blog- always so uplifting :)
ReplyDelete